My late husband once told me something very obvious, except at the time it wasn’t in the least bit obvious to me. He told me that taking oneself to a place of elevation (Arthur’s Seat, for example), climbing up to a look-out point (say, the top of the Scott Monument), finding a view out over … Continue reading Looking Outward
Bertrand Russell, philosopher, mathematician, historian, writer, essayist (annoying all-rounder), wrote – at a sprightly 81 years old – a famous article entitled, “How to Grow Old”. He himself was to grow much older, but he can’t have known, when he was writing it, that he would live to the ripe old age of 97. On … Continue reading Life Is a River
I passed a man on the street this morning walking towards me with a cardboard box over his head. It was a huge one. I can only guess at what it once contained – a microwave oven or a shipment of bananas or a consignment of flat pack garden furniture – but this morning, as … Continue reading There Are Worse Things
I have a card box filled with a mix of birthday, new baby, sympathy, thank you, and left over Christmas cards. And I have a few of the ‘blank for your own message’ type, the ones I come across and buy thinking, ‘that’s perfect for so and so’ and then I forget ever to send … Continue reading Ironing
I have been lonely in the past, but I am not anymore. I know I might well be lonely again in the future, and, when that happens, I’ll have to remind myself that the feeling will not last. That’s one of the good things about getting older: we’ve seen it before. Some call it, ‘wisdom’ … Continue reading This Feeling Will Not Last
Dear 2019, It’s not me, it’s you. Yet, despite you being the one leaving me, I’m not going to take it badly. I refuse for us to part on bad terms. At this stage in the game, I’ve got used to how you operate: you’re all full-on at the start of the year, promising me … Continue reading Breaking Up is Hard to Do
Have you ever had your tea leaves read, or the lines upon your palm scrutinized, or been ushered through a heavy curtain made from crushed velvet and fringed with gold, behind which a woman with smoky kohl eyes gazed into a crystal ball to tell you what lay in store for you? Two things have … Continue reading Crystal Ball
My dad would have been 81 today but he died a few years shy of seeing another decade. It’s long enough ago for me to reflect peacefully, to cradle his absence from a place of stillness. Not that opening packages of memory comes without emotion, but now any pain I feel has a soft give, … Continue reading Whole
I feel like I’m adjusting from this to that, from something to other, but I have no idea what either is. I simply have a sense that I am somewhere indeterminate, somewhere between before and after. How’s that for a jumbled description of my current juddering internal compass? Let me try harder to explain. It’s as … Continue reading Stew
‘The thing I dread most, far more than the gossip – and God knows, I really don't like gossip – is the pity. The thought of people feeling sorry for me is too much. My worst nightmare is others holding a pity party on the coat tails of my misfortune.’ It had been a long time … Continue reading I Don’t Want Pity
