On feeling precarious right now.
Mind Yourself
Category: Fear
Looking Outward
My late husband once told me something very obvious, except at the time it wasn’t in the least bit obvious to me. He told me that taking oneself to a place of elevation (Arthur’s Seat, for example), climbing up to a look-out point (say, the top of the Scott Monument), finding a view out over … Continue reading Looking Outward
That Horrid Time
I lay in bed last night listening to the news and thinking about the horrid days around us. This sent my mind spinning back to other times (which were mostly moments) that were I thought were horrid and would scar me forever; whereas now they’re like half remembered films where I can visualise certain scenes, … Continue reading That Horrid Time
Worry
I was on the phone last night for an hour talking someone down off their worry ledge. Actually, that’s not true. I wasn’t equipped to talk them down, I didn’t have the script for it, all I could do was listen. And now I’m taking the time to think it through, reflect and work out … Continue reading Worry
The Whispering Wind
I fear the whispering wind and the messages it brings me. It loosens worries from my head in unnerving gusts. I fear the whispers will become raised voices, shouts, screams of terror that pull waves from the ocean floor, rip slates from roofs, and send gulls spinning and shrieking and competing with plastic bags that … Continue reading The Whispering Wind
Any Ordinary Day
I’m reading a book on loan to me. S. brought it back from a trip to Australia earlier this year. ‘Any Ordinary Day’ is by Leigh Sales. It’s a collection of stories about the very worst things people can experience that rise up, out of the blue. The title is important; they are stories of … Continue reading Any Ordinary Day
I May, I Might, I Must
Choice: it is, perhaps, the single, most important determinant in how our lives turn out; in how we plough a furrow through this world. Yes, some people, often through fate of birth, are born to a life of enhanced opportunity with an array of choices before them, whilst others are born into a ready-made obstacle … Continue reading I May, I Might, I Must
New Beginning
One year ago today I moved to Edinburgh. The standard 365 days ago - this year wasn’t a leap year. It was a Saturday and there was no snow. In fact, as I drove into Edinburgh in the gloaming and up parked on the main thoroughfare to unload my full-to-the-brim Mini Clubman, my memory is … Continue reading New Beginning
Pruning
This is the time of year for pruning apples trees; making sure they are not too leggy or spindly, lessening their susceptibility to disease. Had I been feeling more like myself last week, I’d have had a go at the big tree at home, it has too many limbs! Apparently you can prune them on … Continue reading Pruning
Fear
What are you afraid of? Spiders? Flying? Snakes? Heights? Caterpillars? Needles? I once worked with someone in Dublin who had a fear of buttons. I thought she was making it up, but it turned out to be real (for her) and all her clothes had to be button-proof; it was zips and velcro all the … Continue reading Fear
My Edinburgh Press 