I have been lonely in the past, but I am not anymore. I know I might well be lonely again in the future, and, when that happens, I’ll have to remind myself that the feeling will not last. That’s one of the good things about getting older: we’ve seen it before. Some call it, ‘wisdom’ … Continue reading This Feeling Will Not Last
I fear the whispering wind and the messages it brings me. It loosens worries from my head in unnerving gusts. I fear the whispers will become raised voices, shouts, screams of terror that pull waves from the ocean floor, rip slates from roofs, and send gulls spinning and shrieking and competing with plastic bags that … Continue reading The Whispering Wind
I stood on the edge of a carpet of decaying roses in the middle of July of this year, which was, I think, around six weeks after they had been laid down. What amazed me was how long the flowers were lasting; that is to say, how they were still offering something to be enjoyed … Continue reading Decay
I feel like I’m adjusting from this to that, from something to other, but I have no idea what either is. I simply have a sense that I am somewhere indeterminate, somewhere between before and after. How’s that for a jumbled description of my current juddering internal compass? Let me try harder to explain. It’s as … Continue reading Stew
When someone is sure of his or herself, they can be humorously self-deprecating about their imperfections whilst remaining quietly rooted and secure, still believing in their abilities and talents. Take the unlikely example of Bing Crosby’s prominent ears, which he said made him look, ‘like a taxi cab with its doors wide open.’ Or consider … Continue reading Dig In
A late June night. I’d picked her up from the tram, and we were driving back along York Place. From there, we drove down Leith Walk, briefly passing through Haddington Place, before we turned onto Montgomery Street. She lifted her hand, an involuntary action, she didn't seem to know she was doing it, and pressed … Continue reading Absence
Blowing things out of all proportion and adopting the out-of-balance perspective – haven’t we all had our fair share of practice at it? I went to get into my car the other day and noticed a ding at the rear right hand side, just above the reverse light. Bodywork dented and scraped, paint gouged and … Continue reading Dust
Wasn’t it awful watching television footage of Notre Dame Cathedral burning furiously earlier this week? That it is a monument so ancient, recognisable, and steadfast made it all the more shocking. It stirred a deep unease in my heart, its partial destruction acting as a powerful reminder about what is precious yet precarious: everything. I was reminded … Continue reading Tumbling Down
I’m reading a book on loan to me. S. brought it back from a trip to Australia earlier this year. ‘Any Ordinary Day’ is by Leigh Sales. It’s a collection of stories about the very worst things people can experience that rise up, out of the blue. The title is important; they are stories of … Continue reading Any Ordinary Day
I’m just back from a few days in Ireland, of the Northern variety. There was much talk of uncertainty. T. spoke about her father’s farm, the far fields of which run along the seam of the border. “There’s more talk of Brexit than there are cups of tea taken, and that’s saying something,” she told me. … Continue reading Brace Ourselves For Change
