What difference would it have made to Tarry Flynn had he got himself onto a dating app? That is the question I keep turning over in my mind. Tarry is the main character of the eponymously titled Patrick Kavanagh novel that I am re-reading after twenty-five years. Published in 1948, it was banned for fourteen … Continue reading Meet Me at the Crossroads
Category: Longing
Some Things I Miss
What do you miss being able to do?
Never Been Gone
Slow travel: there’s a lot to be said for it, taking one’s time to get from there to here so that your head and your heart can keep pace with your body; so that the emotional you and the physical you arrive as one to your destination. My first stop is on the other side … Continue reading Never Been Gone
Close Your Eyes and Go
The majority of planes are grounded and the sight of a contrail ribboning the sky (I’ve always thought them beautiful) has become noteworthy. I turned my car engine over yesterday and revved it; car-physio, is what I’m calling this monthly, one-minute resuscitation. I’m not sure it will make any difference, it’s probably as effective as … Continue reading Close Your Eyes and Go
An Austerity of Closeness
Austerity: it was the word of the last decade, wasn’t it? Carried over from the decade before, from the infamous crash of 2007 when we (or someone on our behalf) over-stretched and over-spent until under we went. And after that, I only ever thought of the word ‘austerity’ in terms of fiscal policy; I associated … Continue reading An Austerity of Closeness
I See In My Dreams
Apparently, over these last few strange weeks, more people than ever are dreaming and remembering their dreams. Some say it’s because we are sleeping longer in the days of lockdown; that we’re dropping into deeper REM sleep when we would otherwise be getting up with the alarm. Others say it’s the psyche flushing out silos of … Continue reading I See In My Dreams
I Need You
Everyone wants to be needed. It’s the most natural thing in the world. Each of us have needs to be met, and most of us feel rewarded by a sense of achievement, validation, or plain old love when we look after the needs of others. So, how is it, by and large, that we cannot … Continue reading I Need You
Stew
I feel like I’m adjusting from this to that, from something to other, but I have no idea what either is. I simply have a sense that I am somewhere indeterminate, somewhere between before and after. How’s that for a jumbled description of my current juddering internal compass? Let me try harder to explain. It’s as … Continue reading Stew
What Are They Doing In Heaven Today?
I once knew a woman whose ambition it was to play the harp but life and raising a family got in the way so she told me she would play it when she got to heaven instead. I have not seen or thought about this person for thirty years until this week, when I heard … Continue reading What Are They Doing In Heaven Today?
Absence
A late June night. I’d picked her up from the tram, and we were driving back along York Place. From there, we drove down Leith Walk, briefly passing through Haddington Place, before we turned onto Montgomery Street. She lifted her hand, an involuntary action, she didn't seem to know she was doing it, and pressed … Continue reading Absence