Other women have told me that they don’t like match day, they take themselves off for the afternoon or evening, or they adjourn to the back to the flat to block it all out. I like it; I find the unruliness enlivening rather than unsettling. Before I look out the window, I can feel the … Continue reading Match Day
“The man to whom little is not enough will not benefit from more.” Saint Columbanus. A Saint Patrick’s Day message from the other one. A dozen-and-one wise words on our insatiable appetite for more. When I was a child, or even a young adult, or even a middle-aged woman, I used to marvel at the … Continue reading More
What would it be like to be unrelentingly positive for one day? For the inside thoughts and outside spoken words all to be ‘up’. To watch the sneaky negativity or melancholy and flip it before it takes hold. It started out as an easy exercise to maintain. The daybreak was beautiful: a cloudless day illuminated … Continue reading Weather Patterns
I am tired. Muscle, sinew, bone: I am depleted to my core. I am tired. This time last year, I was tired too. Reading back on my diary tells me so. It helps to remind myself this is a patten, not a symptom. I am nature. Although not rooted, I am plant in human form, … Continue reading Night Night, Sleep Tight
There is a lady in York whom I speak to every February. My ten-minute phone conversation with her is a highlight of this short, little drab month. She is an insurance broker with whom I renew my car insurance – probably not usually a highlight in one’s calendar, but it is for me. Unbeknownst to … Continue reading That Time Again
He’s carrying a small backpack that is far from full, hardly looks as though it holds enough for an overnight stay. For a moment, I wonder if he’s a runaway. He looks and sounds too calm for a runaway (as if I’d know). ‘I’m going to see my grandparents,’ he volunteers, mind-reading. I am to … Continue reading Companion
Overheard on the radio: manipulate the brain and one’s experience changes. It’s the most obvious statement in the world, but how to pull it off? I refuse to become toxically positive and shut out all negativities. Is there an acceptable ratio of optimism versus pessimism to aim for? Perhaps a 10% pessimism weighting might be … Continue reading One Week
When life is going well, we do it a disservice by not offering it a small bow of gratitude, not acknowledging the simple happiness of the everyday. Instead, we sail on, eyes forward, unappreciative of the smile of fortune that is ‘nothing much happening’. We are conditioned to believe that good fortune and happiness in … Continue reading Better
The light slips here, it moves subtly but dramatically, as did the slide of snow from the cottage roof earlier. When we arrived, I saw it as a slipped blanket soon to fall off the bed. Helen, who lives next door and is looking after us during our stay, told us to walk close to … Continue reading Hownam, Scottish Borders
I am listening, over one week, to an abridged version of the Roy Foster book, On Seamus Heaney. Adrian Dunbar is reading. Cashmere blanket voice. I could listen to him read my home insurance policy and still feel comforted. Commitment, that’s what’s coming through in this morning’s section, that Heaney was a committed grafter: drafting, crafting, … Continue reading Heaney Healing
My Edinburgh Press 